Silly Things

So last night we were laying in bed and Brian started going through the pictures on his phone and there was all these ones of Jordans first few days in this world and emotional me starts crying. I know silly, but he is now 6 and 1/2 months old and I just don't know where the time has gone. I know wait until he is 18 and I am saying this again but I can't even think about that right now. Every parent wants there children to grow up and achieve all there dreams, but I think somewhere deep down you want them to stay lil and dependent on you for there every need. (or at least that is how I think now, maybe when he is terrorizing my house in a few more months that will change, but I'm not thinking so right now). He is what brings a smile to my face no matter how blue my day is, when he smiles and looks up at me with his big blue eyes it melts my heart. So I am sure I have many more years of tears even if it is over a few pictures!!!!

A Mother's Love!

A mother has undying love for her children. Her presence itself deeply affects the entire life of her little one. Our mother is the first woman in our life and cannot be replaced by anyone. When Jordan came into this world I never knew the kind of love I feel for him. I love Brian(my husband) with all my heart and to know end, but it is a different type of love than you feel for a child. Caring for a child is an all day job, sometimes you aren't able to get anything else done. I am fortunate to get to stay at home with Jordan and so naturally he is very attacted to his mom and doesn't do well when away from me. I am also nursing which makes our bond even stronger and also means that he needs me even more than if I was formula feeding. Everyone trys to tell you how to raise your children and different things you should do and it seems that if you aren't doing it like they say then it is the wrong way. I hear things from people all the time, some have no kids and some didn't nurse there kids. No matter what people tell you, you have to figure out your own way to raise your kids, there is no perfect way and everyone makes mistakes, but you have to learn from them which will only make your parenting experience even more special.

Jordan recieved his first booboo on sunday, (well really his second but the first wasn't his fault) Brian was in the shower and I was in the bedroom and Jordan was playing on the floor and all the sudden he started screaming, we think when he rolled over he banged his nose on the floor or ball because it was all red, he screamed for about 20 minutes and let me tell you I have never felt pain like that and I wasn't even the one hurt, I would have done anything to take the pain away from him but I couldn't just sit and hold him and walk around to calm him down, luckily for me it was a sunday and Brian was home to help or I proably would have been crying right along with him. I know it is the first of many, but it was still sad and I am not ready for another one yet. It just goes to show that a mother's love is special, that you would take the pain for them no matter how bad it is.

Jordan's smile lights up the room and when he smiles I smile, I can be having a bad day and to sit and play with my son makes any tears go away. When he let out the first laugh about 2 weeks ago, I couldn't stop laughing with him, we were changing his diaper and I was touching his toes to his nose and he just started laughing it was the most joyous sound I had ever heard, he was having such a good time and I just laughed right along with him. He is the light of my life and truly a gift from God. God blessed me with a wonderful, beautiful, healthy little boy and I am going to enjoy every moment that I have with him, no matter the cost. So me as a mother I choose to put my son first and enjoy the blessing that God has given me. Even if it seems demanding to others, it is not a demand for me but a joy that I am not willing to give up. A mother is and will always be a special women in her sons life and no one can ever take her place!